Tande-ism: Perfection is a lofty goal, that is, until it stops you in your tracks. Tandelyn Weaver
Client Coaching Session: Recently, one of my clients said she could not decide between two potentially successful business opportunities (let's say Plan A and B). While she felt very positive about each, she seemed to talk more enthusiastically and confidently about Plan B. When I made her aware that everything in her conversation seemed to lean in that direction, and she was naturally talented in that area, she agreed that it made sense to pursue Plan B. Mind you, we had discussed this same topic several times before, but she had not made any progress.
Additionally, she had done excellent research and knew lots about each business. But within a few short minutes, we were right back where we started and she said she could not make up her mind.
So, it became clear that something else was operating here. It was not the business, per se. But what was it?
Coaching Moment: I asked if something else was going on? As a single mom of 2 young children, she had been living off her savings and was getting down to the last 4-6 months of money. After a few more questions, my client suggested that she couldn't risk losing money especially if she couldn't really be sure if everything wasn't going to work out perfectly.
So there we were, "perfectionism" had sneaked in and had a stranglehold on her!
Challenging her to look at it from another perspective, I asked, "What if everything worked out successfully, how would you feel if you had not pursued this opportunity?" Her silence said it all. "Really disappointed in myself." I asked, "Do you want to still give your dream a chance?" Yes!
Further questioning gave way to clarity. Because she had been smack dab in the middle of a hazy conflict, she felt timid about taking the first steps. She knew she could do this, but she was simply paralyzed.
She needed to structure a positive support system around her. Therefore, I asked was there someone who'd walk with her through the initial steps. She had a good friend who filled the bill.
She called her friend who excitedly agreed to support her by accompanying her to some of the initial meetings and helping her get set up. Now, she is off and running!
Perfectionism is just enough of a goal to make the pursuit of it quite challenging. It creates a "gray" zone, when you are trying to make "black and white" decisions. Trying to be perfect can literally stop you in your tracks. Perfection, anyone? Run in another direction!
Tell me: What is hazy for you? Where in your life is clarity needed?
Step into your greatness!
8 comments:
Perfectionism? hmmm... sometimes you look at it like "flawless", a "concept", sometimes to designate a range of diverse, or in Latin word in means to bring something to an end.
Reading this came at a great time for me. Frozen in pursuit of perfection is something we all need to recognize. Thank you Coach T for putting this into words that made me stop and think about my own pursuits. I can't wait to get your next round of inspiration.
If you want perfection,you will need to look it up in the dictionary because thats the only place you will find it.
Is there such a thing? but according to Luther Adams: nothing is complete and thus nothing is exempt from criticism. The bottom line is We can never be perfect but our love can be, right? i don't know... but Coach T in my opinion your blog is almost purrrrfect !!!! nice site too, thanks for creating this.
Thanks.
As a 'recovering perfectionist' I wholeheartedly agree. We can become paralyzed by our need to do everything perfectly. When we let go of that need and simply learn from our mistakes and take action, we not only take a lot of the stress out of life, but we achieve far more.
Coach T,
I'm living proof of perfectionism paralysis. I recently realized I was stuck in the perfectionism paralysis cycle. After thinking about this some more (a perfectionist can't change her stripes overnight!), I initiated the first tiny (yet important) step toward making my dreams a reality...I asked for help...gasp...when I didn't have all my i's dotted and my t's crossed, I hadn't thoroughly researched my subject matter, and I didn't write up a strategic plan complete with an executive summary.
Your quote, "Perfection is a lofty goal, that is, until it stops you in your tracks." is something I'm going to have to remind myself of on a regular basis so that I can keep moving forward. Thanks!
Dear Money Matters:
thanks for reposnding.
I appreciate your comment about taking small steps at a time.
You probably have heard the riddle:
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!"
so you see, when a project is so daunting you can't move forward, then take baby steps one step at a time.
Keep up the great work.
Tandelyn Coach T
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